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The CarnaRaptor Project - Pt. 2
By Carna [Mod]
*CARNARAPTOR PRODUCTIONS*
Detective PunkNerd kneeled down and examined the ravaged limb of the victim. This crime scene was a horrifying site. Not only was the victims body torn apart, but each piece of limb had a nude picture of Martha Stewart taped to it. PunkNerd has seen this kind of thing before, though he could never imagine it being so ruthless.
“Martha Stewart is not very attractive. I would have totally gone for a more Kathie-Lee Gifford type” Punk said aloud to himself. A temptation of interest had led him to a peculiar figure near a tree. The other detectives didn’t notice or care for Punk’s action much – he was the new recruit. Lead Detective WOLF-X was busy questioning a raccoon who claimed he was at the scene of the crime.
“…so yeah I told the stupid fucker that he was most likely going to be killed yesterday.” The raccoon said, chomping down on a meal.
WOLF-X was quickly scribbling notes down on his notepad. He was writing and questioning at the same time. “And your saying you were not at the crime scene at the time?”
“No. The old lady was chirping for a ride on the train if you know what I mean. Hohoho” the raccoon said humorously.
WOLF-X quickly became misunderstood and offensive. “Are you saying you fucked my wife?”
“Huh?” said the puzzled raccoon.
“My wife you little……raccoon. You said you fucked my wife right?” WOLF-X exclaimed.
“No. I was talking about my g-“
“I know what you meant you little shit! You think that just because I lived Alabama and fucked ducks and collected Digimon cards that I’d be too stupid to understand? Well let me tell you something mister, I am smart! I’m forty years old and my IQ is that of a ten year olds. My psychiatrist said I have made tremendous strides. You got that?” WOLF-X bellowed.
The raccoon resisted laughing his ass off at the goof. “Detective, I believe you have a crime scene to investigate” said the raccoon, quickly leaving back into the forest.
Detective WOLF-X turned around and went back to work. Though the crime scene was very gruesome, WOLF-X had a hard stomach and took it all in. Then, as he turned to his left, he noticed a figure near the tree laying face down and slowly going up and down. WOLF-X was in sheer disgust.
“PunkNerd! You sick bastard! Get your goddamn dick outta that evidences ass!”
PunkNerd wasn’t cooperating. His necrophilia couldn’t be controlled.
“..PunkNerd! I’m warning you!” said WOLF-X jogging over to him with a hand at his waist. PunkNerd still didn’t do anything. WOLF-X had no choice. He pulled out his handgun and shot the demented soul twenty-seven times all over.
“That little bastard deserved to die! Get back to work men!” shouted WOLF-X, referring to the ground officers who were also at the scene. Slowly, to WOLF-X’s surprise, the supposedly dead PunkNerd began doing it again.
“What the hell…..Oh well” WOLF-X then took his automatic and pumped hundreds of rounds into PunkNerd. Blood scattered everywhere, and PunkNerd looked like swiss cheese. WOLF-X was exhausted from all the shooting, so he leaned up against a tree to catch a breather.
“He’s…definitely…” continued WOLF-X “…dead now” he said to the officers, who had left their positions and stood parallel to WOLF-X. He didn’t like their presence at this moment. Not now.
“Beno_yo and Bob. I suggest you get back to photographing the crime scene.”
Beno and Bob exchanged glances. Then Bob stepped back and pointed to PunkNerd, who sure enough was once again raping the mangled ass. “Me and Ben will help you out this time sir”. On cue, all three of the men started shooting blindly and rapidly at PunkNerd. They were using everything. Shotguns. Elephant rifles. Even rocket launchers.
Beno screamed a message to WOLF-X over the blaring the sight and sound of ammunition and flames. “Sir! I have no choice. I’m throwing an acid bomb in this mother fucker!!”
Beno reached into his pocket and pulled out the small, yet monstrously-destructive bomb.
“Officer Beno!!! Waaaaaaiiiiiitttttt!!!” shouted WOLF-X in a dramatic tone.
It was too late. Thanks to Beno’s stupidity, the entire forest and its inhabitants were blown to bits. Dust clouds filled the air. It was a catastrophe that could have been avoided. Now all that was left alive in the forest was PunkNerd, who was still churning away.
The psychopathic killer fixed himself a drink at the bar in his cabin. The lights were dimmed and his figure was just an outline. Right behind his bar, a couple of unfortunate souls awaited their fates on earth. The psychopathic killer poured himself some chocolate milk and gracefully chugged down a gallon or so. He tilted his head back forward and licked his lips for the last drops of residue. He let out a sigh of delight and put the chocolate milk away.
“Ah, milk does the body good doesn’t it folks?” said the psychopathic killer chuckling. He then walked over to his knife rack and gleefully grabbed a couple of skews. He examined them. The long, sharp spine of the skew and the glimmer of it’s metal simmering in the very dim light. He began to skin the skews against each other, readying them for usage on the five petrified souls before him. He walked out from behind the bar and towards the victims who had been tied to five separate chairs.
“So who should be the first to be skewed huh? Hehehehe” he lazily walked back in forth, staring down the teary and horrified people. He pointed the skews at each one of them.
“Should it be YOU MegLives!? After all, you are the bastard who actually thinks heterosexuality is a gift”
“Or maybe its YOU Yvonne! Why is it so hard for you to understand that Titanic only benefited from an endless run at the cinemas en route to its box office record total”
“How about Malcolm? How could one possibly believe that giant pandas aren’t an endangered species. You goddamn liar! LIAR! DIE!!!!” said the demonic psychopath. He went ballistic and tore Malcolm apart. The skews were painted red with Malcolm’s bloody inniards.
He took a couple of deep breaths and continued on. “Whew, that was fun. And how about you? The old lady who couldn’t keep her ass shut or realize that she shouldn’t be flirting with young kids like Dino_Dude - Who I had to kill just because of you plaguing him with your poison. You know what – your heffer ass doesn’t belong on this planet no more. DIE!!!!!” he skewed the old lady in the same fashion as Malcolm. Though she was quite a bit easier to cut through.
At that moment, the door to the cabin could be heard slowly being opened. The psychopathic killer could hear the dangling of keys coming through. He knew this wasn’t good news. He had to think fast.
“Shoot. Meg, Yvonne, and RaptorHiss. Quick. Get your asses out of here. I’ll find you guys and gut you tomorrow. My mom’s home.”
And so the three victims were free – for now. They hurried out the back door. The psychopathic killer now had about ten seconds before his mom saw this bloody shamble. He did the only thing he could think of. He took the last remaining dildo and approached his mom.
“Oh hey sweetie, Listen I-AHHHH” the mother dropped her grocery bags and was tackled to the floor by the psychopathic killer. He pinned his mother to the floor and thoroughly smacked her face. Her screams were deafening, but it only made things worse for her. Finally, with one last giant slap, he had convincingly killed his mom with the dildo. Now all he had to was clean up this mess.
6/28/2002 6:49:07 AM
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